Celebrating the first born


Happy 100 days C

Yesterday I attended the “first 100 days” celebration of my friends’ first born. Typically among Singapore Chinese, you announce the arrival of your first born with gifts of “red hard-boiled eggs” or cakes with figurines of little babies or glutinous rice or little turtle cakes. Usually its 30 days after the birth of the child or the “full moon”.

My friends N and J instead celebrated their baby’s first 100 days, which I thought was a really good idea. The baby is older, and the mom would have rested sufficiently.  And the parents got their friends together at the Flock Cafe at Ghim Moh from 2.30pm to 5.30pm for a celebration and cake cutting. I could have left after one hour, but the cozy cafe feel was so inviting, I lingered till closing time.

J had a big bottle of sanitiser for friends in case they wanted to carry C who is a charming little boy. [He didnt even whimper the whole time.  If I’d met him earlier, I would have had two of my own.] Our mutual friend SL who has two kids, said its common for parents to be overly anxious about hygiene. By the second kid, you wouldn’t be so anxious.

Do you think that the birth order of the child affects their personality?  First borns are traditionally thought to be more cautious, more responsible, more eager to please.  Perhaps because their parents are more anxious, the anxiety and expectation is absorbed by the child.  By the time the second kid comes, the parents are too tired and jaded. The middle child tends to be more sociable and better with negotiating skills.

By the time the third kid comes, s/he will have to fend for herself with the older siblings trying to lord over them. Parents are more lenient, and the child less responsible. My youngest brother is certainly more charming. But the responsibility of planning my parents’ birthday dinner falls on me every year. How can it be?  By consensus. My parents always say they’re fair, everything is divided in one third among three children. Except where work is concerned, then it falls entirely on me.

What do you think? Do you think birth order affects one’s personality?

I’m the eldest child, and himself is the youngest in the family. You can imagine whose responsibility it is to book flights and hotels for holidays and change the light-bulbs. I found peace in my later years when I accepted this fact. He’s the fun and spontaneous one, always bringing me to explore new places, and taught me not to be so anxious when the unexpected happens.







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